Sometime in 2012
Psalm 34
A journey began quite a few months ago, actually almost two years ago. I began seeking God. Tired and worn out, struggling to keep up, overwhelmed and feeling lost, I sought God. Oh, He'd always been a part of my life but maybe the key word there is "part".
Ps. 34:4 I sought the Lord, and He answered me; He delivered me from all my fears.
And He showed up. I poured out my heart to Him through a Bible Study and His words began to seep into my dry desert. He lifted up my head, and I started seeing His love again. Finished that study and started another. Here, He directed me to start meeting with a couple of friends to join me on my journey. I remember the day I said to them, "I feel like I'm falling in love with Jesus all over again." They were called alongside to encourage and introduce me to the Holy Spirit.
Ps. 34:8 Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him.
Oh, He is good! Blessings poured over me. There was joy instead of emptiness and peace instead of frustration. He filled me with His Spirit and I saw things I had never seen before. As the journey into the heart of God continued, He brought my husband along and filled him with His Spirit, too.
Ps. 34: 11-12 Come, my children, listen to me; and I will teach you the fear of the Lord. Whoever of you loves life and desires to see many good days, keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking lies. Turn from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it.
As I journeyed with God, He began revealing my heart to me and the sin that was residing there. First He showed me my fear and began to deliver me from it as I repented and turned to Him. He healed my heart concerning the fear that surrounded the death of our stillborn son, Zebulun. He healed the rejection in my heart from my childhood as I repented of my pride and of seeking man's approval. He showed me people I needed to forgive and walked me through the process of continually seeking His heart for healing of past offenses and wounds. The Ladies Bible Study I joined worked through another Bible Study that taught me how to renew my mind and take every thought captive. More fears were revealed, repented of and healed. I gave up control of my children, surrendering them to Him and trusting Him with the outcome.
It would take too long to write out the story of each one of the fears, lies and wounds He delivered me from as I repented of my sin. Yet each time I faced a fear in my life, as the Holy Spirit moved, I felt a lump in my throat. As I repented and released each sin to Him, the lump would diminish. Yet I always knew that we were not done. Each time it got easier to repent and release the fear to Him. Each time I thought I might be done with fear.
Ps. 34:17 The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; He delivers them from all their troubles.
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