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Saturday, April 19, 2008

My Granbaby


My newest granbaby had a heaven-birth. Just when spring had finally come to Maine, just when I finally felt like I was getting over my cold, just when I felt like celebrating. Kathryn has written her response on her blog, Pocketful of Hope. You may want to go there and listen to the song by Natalie Grant. If you click on the title of this post (My Granbaby) it will take directly to Kathryn's post.

I listened to the song and let the tears roll down my cheek. I turned it up loud and let the music fill me. This is my grandchild. I am so glad that he (he or she, but I'm stuck on boys right now) was welcomed even in his short stay here. His coming was heralded with stripes of teal and orange and brown, with a blog all his own, with many hearts full of hope.

I hate death. It is the last enemy to be destroyed, and someday it will be, but not yet. And so we live with death. Endings and partings that cause us so much sorrow. All it took from my daughter was a call on my cell phone as I was driving to Newport this morning. She asked if I could stop by on my way home. And then I knew. I knew he was gone. I knew that this hope was not be.

I cried and thought about God giving a life and God taking a life. I thought about the times that God has given life to me and then taken that life away. I remembered the grief and tears and pain. Then I remembered that each time He has also given me something else. I have no idea what He might give to my daughter. His ways and thoughts are not mine and He will choose something that I wouldn't. All I know is that He is not the kind of God who just takes. He is not ruthless and uncaring. His love is so deep that it transcends the pain. But we must wait on Him.

The love may come as you listen to a song. It may surprise you as you drive over a hill and see a sunrise. It may overwhelm you some moment when you least expect it. And in between there will be lots of moments of pain, tears, longing, and sadness. But so be it. His life deserved no less.
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